This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
