its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
