We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
