He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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