Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
