Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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