Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
