i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
high people should be assigned attendants
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Randomize
