dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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