Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
