Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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