You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
foreskin is a definite game changer
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
