That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
just found out that she named her cat after me.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Randomize
