never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
