I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Can you bring me the toilet please
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
