Im at strip club and am horny
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
