Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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