Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
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