who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
