but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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