people are starting to question the shark bite story
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
