come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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