I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize