k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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