I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
