Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
did i walk over a car last night?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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