were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
