I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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