So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
