is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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