dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
