it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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