i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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