420 ftw
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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