So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
