I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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