The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
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Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
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Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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