So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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