I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize