Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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