i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
