the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
