Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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