Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
