An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
