Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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