You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
