i barfeds in our rink
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
