If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
