walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
