I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
