Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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