think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
