I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
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