If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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