hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
