Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
