xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
