he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
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Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
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Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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