3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
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I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
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I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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