she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
