I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
